To Lovey or Not to Lovey

I first read the word "lovey" in one of my favorite baby books of all time, "What to Expect the First Year" by Heidi Murkoff (most people have read her other one, "What to Expect When You're Expecting").

What is a "lovey"?

Image from here

Basically, a lovey is some sort of stuffed animal or blanket that acts as a security object.  Even if your child is in an unfamiliar place, they feel comforted by the presence of their "lovey."

I'll never . . .  

I'm a little embarrassed to admit how much I used to judge parents.  I must have said "When I'm a parent, I'll never . . ." at least a million times (in my head, of course!).  And then, of course, I found myself doing the exact same thing I was sure I'd never do.  The lovey is a prime example.  I never wanted Kate to have one because I didn't want it to be a big issue if it ever got lost, or damaged and I didn't want to go through the hassle of "detaching" Kate from it.  

Giving In

But several months after saying "I'll never," Kate went through a stage of screaming every time I put her down for a nap or bed.  I found myself desperate.  And, on a whim, I grabbed her little bunny, put it in the crib, and asked, "Kate, do you want to go night-night with bunny?"  All of the sudden Kate was wriggling out of my arms, trying to get in her crib.  And it was so nice.

Besides that, I found that she slept a lot better in her pack 'n play when we weren't at home if she had her blanky (yes, now we have two loveys!) and bunny.

Sigh 

So, here I am, breaking the rules I set for myself because they make Kate happy for now.  And that's what motherhood is often about - surviving the now.

Any thoughts on giving your child a lovey?

Side note: The book also recommends having a duplicate lovey - you know, just in case you lose one, as with my fear.

 

Decision Through Indecision

I've been approaching one of the largest dilemmas a parent will face:

What to do for the first birthday party.

Image from pro-party.com

Do I do just a family party?

A party with neighborhood friends?

How about Kate's other friends?

One big combined party?

And, well, you can see the pressure I'm under.

So let me explain the long and extenuating circumstances under which I made my decision.

Days kept on going and going and going by, and I realized I still hadn't sent out invitations.

And then, Dave told me he was going on a business trip and asked me if Kate and I wanted to join him.

I said yes.

And voila!  The decision was made.

We don't get home until Friday night, and Kate's birthday is on Saturday - the day of Kate's family party.

So the decision is:

Only a family party this year and not a friend party.

Maybe I'm a bad mom, but I figure that Kate won't remember anyway . . . I'd rather do a fun friend party when she's two or three when she'll be more aware and more likely to remember.

Oh, the pressure of being a mother.

:)

The moral of the story is: if you put off making a decision, you won't have to make one at all.

One Line a Day

 Image from ohsocherished.co.uk

I just wanted to show you one of my favorite Christmas presents!  It's called, "Mom's One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book" and I absolutely love it!

Here's how it works.  Each page holds space for 5 entries - one for that particular date for the next five years. So next year, when I write on the page for January 1st, I can remember that Kate took her first steps!

Why I love it:  

1 - I love how you can compare what happens on that same date over the 5-year period.  

2 - I especially love how it really is just one line a day!  I'm someone who would love to be a good journal writer, but I'm just too intimidated by trying to write down every single detail.  This forces me to condense, to keep it simple, and to highlight only the most important moments, quotes, or events.  It's perfect for me.  

3 - Plus, I know that our kids are going to love looking through it when they're older!

Anything special that you got for Christmas?  Please share!

Your Place

Tip #2: Your Place

I'll be the first to admit, I've never been much of a decorator.  I've always been too busy, or rationalized that I would be moving soon, so it wouldn't be worth the time.  Now, all of the sudden, I have this strong desire to beautify my home (even if it is just an apartment and who knows how long we'll be here).  I finally figured out the why.

When I worked, I wasn't home a lot, so I didn't have too much time to think about the environment of my home.  Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, however, that has changed.  After Kate was born I spent the first six months or so adjusting, trying to get the whole motherhood thing figured out.  That is when I really started to notice my home.  I am here ALL the time.  Pretty much constantly, except for a daily outing or two.  No wonder I started caring more!  I need to create a place I'm happy to be, and surround myself with beauty.

So here's my advice: create a home where you are happy to be, where you can enjoy your surroundings, and where you won't get depressed.  Of course, some days your house will be messy, and some days you may think you're too busy wiping runny noses to even notice the decor, but it matters.  So create a place, your place, where you want to be.

Here are a few things I love in my home.  Nothing fancy, but I at least enjoy being here.

Just Be You

Tip #1: Just Be You

I think the biggest mistake you can make as a mom is trying to be someone else.  Whether it's your own mother, a friend, or the lady who won the Mom of the Year award.  I love this quote by Judy Garland, "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."  You are you.  And you are amazing.  Yep, you are.  So embrace yourself!  Be happy with who you are, and that includes who you are as a mother.  So maybe you burn chocolate chip cookies and are always late to pick up your kids from school.  But you might be the best lego builder, or tea party server, or costume creator there is.  

So play to your strengths and just be happy with who you are.  You probably judge yourself way more than your kids do, and they'll be better for having a mother who is happy and confident with who she is.