Tuesday, January 18, 2011

To Lovey or Not to Lovey

I first read the word "lovey" in one of my favorite baby books of all time, "What to Expect the First Year" by Heidi Murkoff (most people have read her other one, "What to Expect When You're Expecting").

What is a "lovey"?

Image from here

Basically, a lovey is some sort of stuffed animal or blanket that acts as a security object.  Even if your child is in an unfamiliar place, they feel comforted by the presence of their "lovey."

I'll never . . .  

I'm a little embarrassed to admit how much I used to judge parents.  I must have said "When I'm a parent, I'll never . . ." at least a million times (in my head, of course!).  And then, of course, I found myself doing the exact same thing I was sure I'd never do.  The lovey is a prime example.  I never wanted Kate to have one because I didn't want it to be a big issue if it ever got lost, or damaged and I didn't want to go through the hassle of "detaching" Kate from it.  

Giving In

But several months after saying "I'll never," Kate went through a stage of screaming every time I put her down for a nap or bed.  I found myself desperate.  And, on a whim, I grabbed her little bunny, put it in the crib, and asked, "Kate, do you want to go night-night with bunny?"  All of the sudden Kate was wriggling out of my arms, trying to get in her crib.  And it was so nice.

Besides that, I found that she slept a lot better in her pack 'n play when we weren't at home if she had her blanky (yes, now we have two loveys!) and bunny.


So, here I am, breaking the rules I set for myself because they make Kate happy for now.  And that's what motherhood is often about - surviving the now.
Any thoughts on giving your child a lovey?

Side note: The book also recommends having a duplicate lovey - you know, just in case you lose one, as with my fear.



  1. My N already has one, and her name is Big Pea. I don't know how it started either, it just happened.

  2. I really like "What to expect the first year" too. I have a little lovey for Julianna but I am not sure if I need to introduce it - so far she is pretty satisfied with any toy I give her- but I know the day is coming where the Lovey will need to make it's entrance into our lives :)

  3. I don't think we've ever intentionally created a specific "lovey", but I think it's a great idea to have two for Kate. Then she's not as likely to be attached to just one. It's a sad thing, but I am having a hard time remembering what Sam & Rachel did as babies in that regard :( Sara just has to have a nice soft blanket tucked in around her for nap/bedtime. BUT, when it's a specific, darling blanket that was given to me several years ago as a baby shower gift, you can just see her face light up or her body relax.

  4. I find that I am always doing the things I swore I would never do! My father in law always says "If your not training them they are training you" and it seems that I am a well trained mom for the most part :)